Since the demise of Back Yard Burgers in Gainesville, we've seen lingering blank space for the last year and a half or so in a fairly prime location. A few months ago, we've seen activity stir at the 3400 SW 34th St. location. The setup was already there to put in a new restaurant, but what kind? Something new and different, or another hopeless rehash of something that's already done, and probably better, by somebody else within 2-5 blocks. As time went on, we got a name. Burgers4u.
Burgers4u.
4u.
4.
u.
Welp.
If this is the twitterization of the English language you can count me out. All the same, flavor comes first. Flavor comes first. I had to repeat this to myself multiple times when I saw that name. They should have just added the hashtag and been done with it. All the same, I can't let bias affect me. If I don't really care about service at any of the Indian places I go to, I shouldn't care about their stupid name, right? Right? Right.
All the same, I decided to stop by on the way back from the gym, so I was ready to get some decent food. They had a live band to celebrate their grand opening, and little children in the entryway giving out balloons. They turned out to be the best organized aspect of Burgers4u in my visit. If they really wanted to butter me up before entering, they should have had a row of kittens though. All the same, seeing the counter service, I continued on, curious as to the setup, but as Obi-wan told Luke though, we must be cautious.
The counter was kind of like a Subway but for burgers. They had a choice of meat, buns, and cheese on the board behind the register with the toppings behind a glass case. Unlike Subway, they didn't have a list that you could read of stuff you could put on. A normal person could tell what the normal toppings were, but people like to have stuff written down for counter service because it speeds the process along. As a result the people in front of me took about 5 minutes to order to order 3 burgers because they had to have the potential ingredients read to them multiple times. Unsurprisingly, it took the people after me about 5 minutes to order as well for basically the same reason. Bad foresight aside, I thought the food could still be good. I was still hopeful. Granted, the lack of just basic knowledge for how to run a counter style place was a bit disconcerting, but still. Potentiality!
So I decided to give them the easiest order I could. The softest ball possible so they could put their best foot forward. I ordered the beef burger on a sesame bun with pepperjack cheese with their string fries. The cashier asked me if I wanted the meal deal. I couldn't see a meal deal on the board, but I figured what the hell. It's not like a trip to here would break the bank. The total came out to be a little over $10. This should have been warning sign number one. Mahzu, my favorite sushi bar in Gainesville, has a lunch option where you can pick 3 rolls for $10.50. The good rolls too. Further, Five Guys offers basically the same thing exact thing at pretty much the same exact price. To that end, I had my nationwide chain that Burgers4u had to beat in order to give me a reason to go there.
Did it beat Five Guys? No.
The first thing, you might notice, is that the beef patty, overlaps above 60% of the bottom bun and is just very poorly shaped. I included the ketchup packet so scale would be kept in tact. The medium fries I ordered (of the string variety) turned out to be steak fries of the soggy variety. They were well seasoned, but their texture just sucked. It's a clear example of someone not cooking their steak fries at two temperatures as is good and proper or they overcrowded the fries as they cooked or they just sat too long and weren't fresh. Basically, they didn't do this:
The burger didn't fair much better.
Due to the weird shape of the burger, of course it cooked unevenly. It was very dry. As you can see, not a bit of juice in sight. This thing was clearly cooked to hell and back.
It's just that simple, isn't it? If you can't cook a beef burger decently, what's the use? This placed just opened and it's trying to put its best foot forward and stumbles on the carpet and banged into a cabinet. Is it the end for these folks? No. They could improve, but they really need to get to the improving. I remember Back Yard Burger being a bit better and they couldn't make it work in that location. Gainesville is unkind to restaurants and with Five Guys literally 1 minute away, they're going to have to change a lot to compete.
